Time to dust away 2009 and bring in 2010!

It's here! It's finally here! 2010 is just a few hours away!

I've had a good 2009 and i have a feeling 2010 is gonna be even better. I can feel it in warmth of the sunshine on my face when i peeked my head (don't worry, i assure you it was only my head) out of the window, i can feel it in the cheerleaders in my stomach all pumped up to break into a "Ready?! Ok!" and I can feel it all the way down to my giggling toes.

A quick recap of my 2009:
- Assignments/projects and exams were to my hair like carbon monoxide to the ozone layer
- Learnt that though some things change, doesn't mean it's no longer there
- Did some things that i'm not proud of
- Did more things this year than 2008 that i'm proud of
- Listened to 2 of Miley Cyrus's songs and actually liked it, sighs. (I still don't think she should've been invited to the Oscars!)
- Baked bread butter pudding (for someone whose domestic skills are questionable, this definitely makes the list of recognition)
- Dinner dates with my girlfriends reminds me i do have a social life
- Outings with my family, cousins and aunt, and of course the close extended families humbles me
- Took procrastination to a higher level
- I read more and wrote more
- Met Muhsin twice this year, ldr is tough but we've managed it so far, Alhamdullillah

Things to look forward in 2010:
- GRADUATION!!!
- Work (the sooner i get rid of that study loan the better, and how else can i fund my reading and gaming hobby?)
- Seeing my love again
- Usha's coming home!
- Read more, write more
- Learn more, give more


Time to remove the bitter strands of 2009 and move into the welcoming arms of 2010! May this new year bring all of us more joy, better health, kindness, patience, love, success and of course tears from laughter.

"May you always have plenty
Your glass never empty
Know in your belly
You're never alone

May your tears come from laughing
You find friends worth having
With every year passing
They mean more than gold
May you win and stay humble
Smile more than grumble
And know when you stumble
You're never alone"
-Never alone, Lady Antebellum with Jim Brickman-



HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Sometimes we forget

Sometimes in the midst of arguments and rising tempers, we tend to forget these things. That's not to say we don't know - we do. In the heated moment, it just slipped away, replaced by thoughts that never fail to creep into an argument between a parent and a child. Thoughts like "I'm right and you're wrong" or "It's always about what you want, not what I want". Or maybe when we're able to walk on our own two feet without our parents' helping hands we forget that those hands are always extended to catch our fall. May God grant me the strength and patience to remember these moments. I got this from another blog and thought it was sweet so i'm sharing with you guys as well.

Life on a schedule

This is something odd I've noticed recently. For whatever reason, people think more and more that life runs on a schedule, that you need to do some things or wait some period of time for conditions to be perfect before starting the next step. It's a very regimented way to look at life, probably because we spend so much time in academia where we're forced to run to timetables, where one step or course or module has to be completed before going to the next step. Maybe it's because of what society or tradition dictates and expects from us. This dictation doesn't always come from the past, it can even be the young people thinking that their 'new, better and enlightened way' is right for everyone.

Life isn't like this though, not in my limited experience anyway. You should just grab whatever opportunities come along, even if they seem too big or way beyond your abilities. How do you know unless you try? Even if you fail, you grow as a person and if you grow it's not a failure. Two steps forward, one step back, you've still moved forward.

One attitude that annoys me is planning out in meticulous detail how things will be done, what will be said and then waiting for conditions to meet your plan. Planning is definitely required, but certain details don't need planning, especially conditions you have no control over, like what other people do. You certainly have to write down what you want to do, and work out how to get there, and if you can, alternate ways to get to what you want. It should not be a step-by-step manual of what to do. It should be a general guide, like a map. Maps give you an idea of where you want to go. However, until you get out there you just don’t know what you’ll encounter, no matter how detailed the map is.

The most annoying trait however is waiting x amount of time and just going through the motions, believing the quantity of time set out is enough. Time in itself does nothing, it is always what you do with that time. Use time to prepare for the opportunity you seek, and when it comes grab it. If opportunity doesn't come, do what you can to create it for yourself. This is especially important in the workplace. You don’t become CEO by just being there, neither do you find out someone is your soul mate by just being together for some time.

We should still have respect for the traditions and culture of our forefathers. Our world though, is not the same as theirs. In the last 100 years there have been dramatic changes in the world. My youngest sister is only 9 years my junior, yet it seems I went to school in another century. I had to go to the library, pull books from shelves and write out reports. She uses the internet, types out and then prints her reports. And she doesn't even need to leave her room!

I respect my friends and their opinions too. Despite all this respect, I refuse to let people, either through opinion or appeal to tradition, force me to do what I don’t want to, or what they would have me do instead. I have to live with the consequence of the choices I make, not them. I will seek advice, but if I decide not to take it, they should respect that.

It’s why I admire people like Bruce Lee and Muhammad Ali. Not because they were great sportsmen, mostly for their life philosophy.

“When there is freedom from mechanical conditioning, there is simplicity. The classical man is just a bundle of routine, ideas and tradition. If you follow the classical pattern, you are understanding the routine, the tradition, the shadow - you are not understanding yourself.” ~ Bruce Lee

We should certainly do this with the big decisions in life and be a little ‘selfish’. We also shouldn’t do the opposite of what people advise just because someone said we should. If it’s good advice, take it.

In the end, we have to live our own lives, not our family’s lives or our friend’s lives. Our own. At the same time, don’t dictate others what to do too. I don’t believe in following tradition because “that’s the way it’s always been and will always be”, yet if someone wants to live like that, I’m with it too. It’s not the way I’d choose to live, but it’s not my life now is it?

Live and let live and seize the day, as they say.

Addiction? What addiction? No addiction.

Like a faithful coffee drinker ( I refuse to use the term 'addict'), I kick started my day with a brewing cup of coffee.

"Coffee is the best thing to douse the sunrise with." ~Drew Sirtors
What better way to tackle a mountain-pile of notes than arming yourself with a potent cup of coffee. A day is not a day without coffee, my ice-cream isn't an ice-cream without nuts topping, a playground isn't a playground without the swings, and a life without Muhsin isn't a life worth living at all (bet your head just got bigger on that one didn't it, love?). My point is, drinking coffee has become a habit. One that is hard to break considering I've been drinking it since primary school. However, I think am pretty sure I can live without it.

Evidence #1
"The term 'addiction' is used in many contexts to describe an obsession, compulsion, or excessive psychological dependence." (Thanks, Wikipedia) I daresay I'm not obsessed with caffeine, won't steal or beg for it, nor drink it excessively.

Evidence #2
You know one of those "If you were to live on a deserted island and could only bring 5 things along, what would you bring?" questions, coffee wouldn't be one of those things that I'd bring. So, yes. I can live without coffee. How long I can live without it is immaterial. Another reason why I am not an addict (according to myself) is that, I don't go beyond 2 cups a day. So, it is usually either a cup or 2 cups. And if no cup? Rose had to continue living without Jack after Titanic sunk, so yes, I will survive a day without any coffee.

Evidence #3
Because I said so.

Considering all these evidences, I am not an addict. That's affirmative.

On a more serious note, for those who are coffee drinkers like me, I would encourage you to drink it moderately. Excessive intake of caffeine may lead to fast heart rate, excessive urination, nausea and vomiting, anxiety, depression, and insomnia. There are many scientific studies that prove the pros and cons of caffeine.

Some claim this heavenly potent drink can cause chronic headaches, increase blood pressure and blood sugar  and alot more. Whereas other scientific research says it reduce the risk of developing skin cancer, lowers the risk of death from liver disease (keyword: lower, not cure), it reduces muscle pain after work out, makes your mind more alert etc. Scientists have even conducted a study which suggests you can lower the risk of developing Alzheimer's just by drinking 5 cups a day! And here I was preaching about moderation.

Well, it is certainly up to you to curb your caffeine urges to a healthy level. One piece of advice that I will bear in mind in case I get sick of coffee (I know, that's ridiculous), and that I want to share with those who want to quit drinking coffee is ~ caffeine withdrawal symptoms will only last seven to nine days~

Adios!

What did you say to that?

I remember the day I was asked this very well.

4 August 2008 (488) at East Coast Park, Singapore. I even remember the spot (near that waterski thingy).

I'd arrived in Singapore on 1 August, to meet Liyana for the very first time in person. We clicked straight away. It was like we were old friends meeting up again after a long time.

We'd been chatting online for two months prior (8 June 2008 was when we met online), and I said I'd like to meet her in person.. She didn't want to at first, saying to wait a year or somewhere around that time. I insisted. Not only that, I said I wanted to meet her parents too. I think she got scared at the prospect.

Yet again I insisted and she said ok. Then I dropped another bomb. My mother would like to meet her too. I'm glad she didn't run for the hills at this point. She agreed to all this madness.

So on the 1 August 2008 I flew to Singapore to meet this girl in a country I'd never been to. I felt that there might be something there, and was taking a risk to find out. People have called me either courageous or insane, I guess the line is very fine between those.

We spent the first day together, and we enjoyed each others company. Then my mother flew in on a slightly later flight. We were both very nervous, fortunately she and my mother got on well too. We spent the next day with my mother and 2 of Liyana's friends, and later my mother flew off again.

Then, we went to meet her parents. The whole day before that I was told about how scary her father was. Not just by her but by her friends too. I didn't care. I wasn't going to be prematurely scared by stories.

She came to meet me at the MRT station near her home, and we walked to it. Her father had just come home and arrived at about the same time we did. I greeted him and shook his hand and ended up chatting for 3 hours.

Then 4 August came around. Another day we could spend together. By this time, saying I'd grown fond of her would be an understatement.

My mother had spent two nights in Singapore. On the last night for her in the hotel, after spending nearly the whole day with Liyana, we had a talk about what I was doing. Like any good mother, she wanted to make sure I had at least some idea of what I was doing. She saved her biggest question for last.

"Do you see a life partner for yourself in Liyana?"

A big call to make after 2 months, but one I had to make. If I were to continue, it would a long distance relationship. I'd need a secure career to be able to maintain the relationship, with visits every few months. It wouldn't be cheap or easy. My mother knew this, and made sure I was aware of it too.

4 August 2008 (488) at East Coast Park, Singapore. Liyana and I were dangling our feet over one of the walls, waves breaking gently against it. I had just relayed to her the discussion I had with my mother. I told her about my mothers' last question. She asked "What did you say to that?"

I looked at her nervously ( I don't think she saw, she was watching the waves), and said to her softly "I said yes, I do see a life partner in you".

Now I got scared. What would her reaction be?

She smiled, and I was relieved.

Today, 16 months later, I look back at that as the biggest risk I've taken, and the best decision I've ever made. I get all sorts of comments and opinions about being in a long distance relationship, usually unasked for. Very few understand why I'd do it, why we'd do it or what a long distance relationship requires. "Why not get someone local?", sounds like I'm buying a car.

I took the risk because I don't want to end life wondering about what might have been. I don't know when the end of my life is coming either (tonight in my sleep?), so I'll take "foolish" risks. If they fail, at least I tried.

But when the risk pays off, it really really pays off :-). It's not been smooth sailing all the way. Sometimes it feels very difficult, especially when we fight.

She's worth it though.

Customers are not always right.

One day my love and I were eating at Swensen's restaurant. It was cold and raining outside and I thought what better way to spend the day than here eating with Muhsin and ogling at ice-creams that pass by. For the record, I have always been a fan of their ice-creams! The day was going well and I was rather pleased with myself until (insert drum rolls here) a family came and sat next to us.

It was a couple and their baby. They were given the table next us. After they had ordered their food, the wife removed a styrofoam packet from a plastic. She called a waiter to ask for a plate and spoon so she could feed her baby. The waiter had to follow protocol and said that customers cannot bring outside food in that restaurant. The wife argued saying the food was for her baby. He looked unsure so he went to ask his supervisor.  The supervisor, a lady, came with a plastic spoon. She, like the waiter, repeated that they cannot have outside food in that restaurant. The wife and husband were very adamant and aggressively pressed on with  "it is just food for our baby". The wife even said "if we cannot have that then might as well cancel our orders, we'll just pay for the drinks and this soup". That, ladies and gentlemen, is an obvious threat, one that has probably been repeated in countless restaurants and food places.

The supervisor then went to get her manager. A big burly man came out of the room and came to their table, with a paper plate and a plastic spoon. When I first saw him I thought he will definitely give in to the demands of the customers next to us. Why do I say that? I feel shallow to even say this but here it is - the manager is the same race as the couple next to us.

"I'm sorry ma'am, we cannot allow outside food here however we can provide a paper plate and spoon for this time only," he said. And like a broken tape recorder, the wife and husband argued back the same thing.

"But it is JUST food for the baby!"

"I know, but this is a halal certified restaurant and we cannot verify that the food people bring in are halal as well. We have to be fair to our Muslim customers," he countered. Well you can guess what they said.

"This is just food for the baby. If you can't allow that then I guess we will have to cancel our orders," said the wife. She said that with such coolness thinking he'd bend to her threat. But this big burly man did me proud. All he said was "Ok"and turn to get the bill. He didn't even bother to pacify the couple and their unreasonable demand.

Some of you may think "it's just food for the baby". I looked over to their table and saw that the styrofoam packet contained rice with some stuffs on it. Yes it is just food for the baby. But this family were evidently not Muslim. Food for the baby may not contain pork meat but it could have been prepared with the same utensils used to cook pork and meat that were not halal. This couple weren't really thinking about others, just themselves. Children, knowingly or unknowingly, mimic their parents' behavior one way or another, and sooner or later. Seeing how ignorant and arrogant this couple is, I hope the child is smart enough to not follow their way of thinking.

This small nation is a multiracial society. Awareness and tolerance is key to living harmoniously. Those with the intention to incite racial hatred are dealt with severely by the law. A small nation that only has its people to make the economy stay afloat cannot afford to have social problems like intolerance amongst the different ethnic groups.

Muhsin had a concentrated look on his face while the couple were creating the commotion next to us. I thought, like me, he was feigning it. After the couple left, I wanted to talk to him about it and ask his opinion. That guy was actually really concentrating on his food! He knew they were creating alot of ruckus but his food was more important. So all the while when I was busy wondering if the couple would get their way, he was busy filling his stomach. I had to tell him from the start what I had eavesdropped heard. That required alot of hard work by the way.

Let me just end this blog post correcting a myth that food and beverage companies teach to their workers. Customers are not always right. Neither are they always King.