What did you say to that?

I remember the day I was asked this very well.

4 August 2008 (488) at East Coast Park, Singapore. I even remember the spot (near that waterski thingy).

I'd arrived in Singapore on 1 August, to meet Liyana for the very first time in person. We clicked straight away. It was like we were old friends meeting up again after a long time.

We'd been chatting online for two months prior (8 June 2008 was when we met online), and I said I'd like to meet her in person.. She didn't want to at first, saying to wait a year or somewhere around that time. I insisted. Not only that, I said I wanted to meet her parents too. I think she got scared at the prospect.

Yet again I insisted and she said ok. Then I dropped another bomb. My mother would like to meet her too. I'm glad she didn't run for the hills at this point. She agreed to all this madness.

So on the 1 August 2008 I flew to Singapore to meet this girl in a country I'd never been to. I felt that there might be something there, and was taking a risk to find out. People have called me either courageous or insane, I guess the line is very fine between those.

We spent the first day together, and we enjoyed each others company. Then my mother flew in on a slightly later flight. We were both very nervous, fortunately she and my mother got on well too. We spent the next day with my mother and 2 of Liyana's friends, and later my mother flew off again.

Then, we went to meet her parents. The whole day before that I was told about how scary her father was. Not just by her but by her friends too. I didn't care. I wasn't going to be prematurely scared by stories.

She came to meet me at the MRT station near her home, and we walked to it. Her father had just come home and arrived at about the same time we did. I greeted him and shook his hand and ended up chatting for 3 hours.

Then 4 August came around. Another day we could spend together. By this time, saying I'd grown fond of her would be an understatement.

My mother had spent two nights in Singapore. On the last night for her in the hotel, after spending nearly the whole day with Liyana, we had a talk about what I was doing. Like any good mother, she wanted to make sure I had at least some idea of what I was doing. She saved her biggest question for last.

"Do you see a life partner for yourself in Liyana?"

A big call to make after 2 months, but one I had to make. If I were to continue, it would a long distance relationship. I'd need a secure career to be able to maintain the relationship, with visits every few months. It wouldn't be cheap or easy. My mother knew this, and made sure I was aware of it too.

4 August 2008 (488) at East Coast Park, Singapore. Liyana and I were dangling our feet over one of the walls, waves breaking gently against it. I had just relayed to her the discussion I had with my mother. I told her about my mothers' last question. She asked "What did you say to that?"

I looked at her nervously ( I don't think she saw, she was watching the waves), and said to her softly "I said yes, I do see a life partner in you".

Now I got scared. What would her reaction be?

She smiled, and I was relieved.

Today, 16 months later, I look back at that as the biggest risk I've taken, and the best decision I've ever made. I get all sorts of comments and opinions about being in a long distance relationship, usually unasked for. Very few understand why I'd do it, why we'd do it or what a long distance relationship requires. "Why not get someone local?", sounds like I'm buying a car.

I took the risk because I don't want to end life wondering about what might have been. I don't know when the end of my life is coming either (tonight in my sleep?), so I'll take "foolish" risks. If they fail, at least I tried.

But when the risk pays off, it really really pays off :-). It's not been smooth sailing all the way. Sometimes it feels very difficult, especially when we fight.

She's worth it though.